The minute you find out you are definitely pregnant, you start seeing the world differently. You have most likely started eating more healthy, being careful not to do certain sports and things, and with that, starting to ponder, “Do we have a baby boy or baby girl on the way?”
When we found out that we were pregnant back in November 2013, I thought that we had a baby boy on the way. It fluctuated though. Some days I was convinced another girl. We had some ideas on names, just nothing for sure at least for a girl. I thought, “Once we get to that anatomy appointment in March, we will have over five months to secure a name.” Our time came sooner. And we found out the other week, that we in fact have a baby boy.
Just for the record, it is not easier losing a baby boy, as some may think. Well, you have two living boys here. Maybe losing another girl, not here, would be harder. Nope. It wouldn’t be. I miss him so much. I wish that I could have had him here, this summer. Still in my belly.
So, I am going to try and be patient on deciding on his name. Again, we would have until August 5th, if things had gone differently. We had a name all picked out, should we have another boy. But, I feel that another name was sent to me while pregnant. In the beginning, before I even knew that we were pregnant. And I was praying at church when it was sent to me, looking at a picture of Mary and Jesus. Now that is pretty powerful stuff. Enough for me, to sway my mind of something that we had “set” a long time ago.
Okay, I am not looking for anyone to tell me which name is better than the other. But I know that if you are reading this entry, you are just wanting to know what are the two names. Which just further confirms that naming a baby, whether they are alive or gone onto Heaven, is a big deal. And is still a part of the excitement, in a bittersweet way, if your baby has died. So here they are: Michael John or Conor John.
When we found out that we did have a baby boy, people asked, “So, what will his name be?” Even when we were in the hospital getting ready to have him, the nurses asked us about names. It does bring a smile to one’s face. Naming a baby. This name will be a part of our family life forever. When we named all of our babies so far, we felt good and sure about the names given. So, I will wait patiently, until we feel good and sure about our baby boy’s name.