At a time when you can feel so alone, it is nice to have resources available that provide some comfort. On this resource page, we included books, websites, blogs, and organizations that are all trying to help ease the pain of losing a baby. The book section has a downloadable PDF document to find books at various websites. Some of the websites listed below also have online gift shops that carry books in addition to many of the ones mentioned in our books section on this page. Under our websites section, we included a little paragraph about the site to see if it would be helpful to your specific situation.
Listed below are a variety of websites that can assist with the loss your baby. Many of the organizations, if not all, below, were created with the loss of a baby or child. We hope that you can find more resources and support at these sites.
Loss Doulas International, www.lossdoulasinternational.com
If you would like to talk with someone about your loss, immediately, there are Baby Loss Doulas nationwide, who can help you. Baby Loss Doulas are trained to help create a respectful and thoughtful birth plan and to be companions to the mother and family experiencing the death of a baby during pregnancy. They can offer guidance, help with informed decision-making, memory creation, and will share appropriate resources. Please visit the Loss Doulas International website to locate someone who can help. They can work with you via email or phone, if one is not within your location. Loss Doulas International is also mentioned on our Support page, under “Immediate Support and Help”.
The Fletcher Foundation, https://thefletcherfoundation.net
The Fletcher Foundation’s mission is to provide families with helpful resources to aid in emotional and spiritual recovery after a miscarriage or stillbirth. They also provide financial assistance to those enduring financial burdens due to the loss of a child, specifically helping with paying hospital bills nationwide.
The Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation,www.colettelouise.com
Michelle and Mark created this foundation in 2018 after suffering infertility, a miscarriage and the loss of their daughter, Colette Louise. They started what they did in Colette’s name and memory to help families struggling with pregnancy complications, premature birth and the loss of a baby or babies. Financial assistance to families who lose a child due to miscarriage, stillborn,or as an infant can include, but is not limited to the following: funeral and burial expenses and grief counseling.
Heaven’s Gain, www.heavensgain.com
If you are in need of a baby casket, of any size, Heaven’s Gain can help you. Founded in February 2008, Heaven’s Gain can overnight a baby casket, urn, or vault to anywhere nationwide. Please visit their website to see their selection, and send them an email. Your email is answered promptly. Books and memorials can also be purchased at their site. Also, other helpful resources are provided such as general practical information, miscarrying at home, and customs and funerals. More information can be found at their website, and are also included in our Support page under “Funeral and Ceremony Planning”.
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
Founded in April 2005, NILMDTS has a mission to introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with a free gift of professional portraiture. Photographers for this organization are located worldwide. More information can be found at their website above, and are also mentioned on our Support page, under “Immediate Support and Help”.
Angel Pics, www.babyangelpics.com
Since 1992, Hollywood Fotofix has been restoring and retouching photographs for families. The AngelPics Project began in 1998, when a couple brought the President of Hollywood Fotofix, Mark Long, a photo of their stillborn child, and asked if there was “anything he could do”; he did help by removing bruises and tubes, to make a tragic photo a nice portrait of their baby. When asked how much they owed he said, “I can’t charge for this,” and the AngelPics Project was born. They provide the same service to other families in the same situation.
Babies Remembered, www.babiesremembered.org
Sherokee Ilse has been an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss for many years. Having experienced an ectopic pregnancy (Bryna), a miscarriage at 12 weeks (Marama), and a stillbirth (Brennan), herself, she understands the many layers to grief and loss. One of her websites, Babies Remembered, is a place where one can go to receive support and guidance during the initial days following the loss of a baby, and in the days that follow. Such resources as – Help Now, Recent Loss, Father’s Grief, Miscarriage, Subsequent Pregnancy, How to Help, and Take Action, can be very helpful. And there is also an eShop on the site, where you can purchase a variety of books related to loss. More information can be found at the website listed above, or on our Support page, under “Immediate Support and Help”.
The Tears Foundation, www.thetearsfoundation.org
Founded in 2002, in Washington State, The Tears Foundation currently has twelve chapters nationwide. They seek to compassionately lift a financial burden from families who have lost a baby by providing funds to assist with the cost of burial or cremation services. More grants and the application process can be found at their site under “Assistance”. They also have a “Rock and Walk” which is a walk to let families know that they are not alone, to raise funds to support these families, and to build a community awareness about pregnancy and infant loss.
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, www.facesofloss.com
Founded recently, experiencing the loss of her own daughter, Stevie Joy, who was stillborn on May 8, 2010. The bereaved mother, Kristin, sought out to create a website that would help allow others to share their stories of loss and to provide reassurance to others that they are not alone. One can also share their own story at Faces of Loss, under “Submit a Story”. Other helpful information can be found under, “Resources”, “Real Advice”, and “Friends and Family”.
Special Delivery – A Place of Support, www.specialdeliverybook.org
Created through the loss of her daughter, Macy, to Trisomy 18, Melanie wanted to have a place where one could come for support, find helpful resources, and request an electronic or board book version of “Special Delivery”, a children’s story that she and her sister, Melissa, wrote and designed together. This beautiful “Special Delivery” book is geared toward living children, to help them understand the loss of a sibling, in very simple terms. On the website, there is a “Memorial Gallery” where you can share your own story, and post a picture of your baby. Melanie also posts journal-like entries under “News”.
Grief Watch, www.griefwatch.com
Pat Schwiebert is the founder of this non-profit organization that is located in Portland, Oregon. Their mission is “two-fold: first, to offer spiritual, emotional and other support to persons who are grieving, and second, to assist organized efforts which address the systemic injustices within our society which are the source of grief for persons who are poor and marginalized.” Grief Watch has some wonderful resources for all losses, including the loss of a baby. At the site, you can purchase books, such as the popular, “Tear Soup”, and the touching book for living children, “We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead”, both written by Pat Schwiebert herself, hand-made ceramic hearts and angels, cards, and much more. Also, you can read and subscribe to their monthly newsletter.
Baby Loss Comfort, www.babylosscomfort.com
Located in Oregon, Baby Loss Comfort is a place where you can remember your baby, and find resources. On the “Remembering Baby” page, you can write your story, a message, or a poem for your loved baby. Under “Grief Resources” you are able to navigate information specific to your needs under categories such as: Grief (in general), Miscarriage, Infertility, Full Term Loss and Stillbirth, SIDS, and much more.
Cornerstone of Hope, www.cornerstoneofhope.org
Located in Independence, OH, outside of Cleveland, Mark and Christi Tripodi created and founded Cornerstone of Hope in remembrance of their son, Bobby, who died at three years of age to bacterial meningitis. They wanted to have a place for anyone that was grieving the loss of their loved one. They are dedicated to providing support, education, and hope for the grieving. Guided by Christian values of compassion and service, they welcome and serve all seeking support. Cornerstone of Hope also has a grieving center in Columbus, OH. COH is also mentioned under our Support page for group and individual counseling.
Missing Grace, www.missinggrace.org
Located in Rogers, Minnesota, outside of Minneapolis, Missing Grace was founded by Candy McVicar with the loss of her daughter, Grace, at 32+ weeks. Missing Grace is a grieving center in Minnesota that provides resources and support to families that have experienced a pregnancy loss, infant loss, infertility, or adoption challenges. They provide totes and baskets that are care packages to local hospitals. You can order a care tote or care basket from their website which can be overnighted to the hospital or sent to the parent’s home.
October 15th, www.october15th.com
October 15th was created to support, educate, and bring awareness for those who are suffering or may know someone who has suffered a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a stillbirth, or the loss of an infant. October 15th is a special day of remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss, and is every year on the same day. Robyn Bear is the creator of this organization and has suffered six miscarriages herself. This website also includes resources, an eShop, and an ongoing blog where you can comment and write yourself.
Finding books on the loss of a baby can be a bit challenging, and can leave you feeling even more alone. You may not find books at your local library or bookstore, so please do keep this in mind if you cannot find one. There ARE books that exist out there, many in fact. It is just knowing where to go to locate them. Please click here, and a list of books in PDF format, will be available to you, to print. There are a few different websites to go to, to find more information. And these books and booklets are written for all involved and experiencing the loss of a baby: mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, and friends and family members.
Also, emily’s gift of hope, recently made a monetary donation to the Avon Lake Public Library in the Cleveland, OH area, to help in getting baby loss books at this library. Gratefully, that request has been fulfilled, and there are many books that are listed on the above PDF file, available to check out or do an inter-library loan.
There is something therapeutic in writing your thoughts down on paper, or a typing them on a computer. You can always journal, in the privacy of your own home, or you can choose to start blogging your innermost thoughts and feelings to share with other bereaved families. There are two sites that come to mind where you can begin: www.wordpress.org or www.blogger.com, which is a part of Google.
For those that would prefer to read other blogs, on the topic of loss of a baby, listed below are some you may enjoy reading.
emily and michael’s blog, www.emilygiftofhope.org
The purpose in writing this blog is to help other parents not feel so alone in their sadness. That the feelings that they feel are real, and are normal. I, Anne, the mother of Emily and Michael, journal my journey since losing our daughter and son. And the life-changing views on life itself since those very sad days in February.
A Blog for Fathers When a Baby Dies, www.fathersgrievinginfantloss.blogspot.com
Tim Nelson, who founded the organization, A Place to Remember, and has also written many books on the loss of a baby, writes this blog. He and his wife, Monica, suffered the full-term stillbirth of their second child, Kathleen. While that was a number of years ago, as he says, he has stayed connected to the issue through his writing and speaking on the topic of father’s grief following the death of an infant. He says, “Like many men, I had trouble talking about my feelings after my daughter’s death. I’m hoping this blog might be a place for dads to share their thoughts about what they are experiencing and find support from other dads.”
Life and Loss, www.lifeandloss.wordpress.com
With over 26+ years of experience in working as a nurse, Nurse Tammy Ruiz blogs about her experiences caring for babies that are going to die. She says on her blog, “Those ‘what do you do’ conversations… they always leave me puzzled as to what to say when I know my answer will be unsettling…’I’m a Nurse’ ‘Oh, what kind of nurse?’ ‘I do end of life care & bereavement’ ‘like in a hospice, lots of old people’ ‘No, I only care for newborns’. I could lie and say nothing but hiding the need for caring for these babies has messed up our culture and when we hide ourselves in a dark corner, we perpetuate the untruth that babies don’t die and we keep people unprepared. That lie in society hurts people everyday. I am an odd-ball even in my subspecialty in that I don’t do any other tasks in my hospital. Many still do L&D or NICU part time and Bereavement part time. I work 20 hours a week and even when we don’t have a loss in the hospital, I stay busy.”
Articles of Interest
In this section, you will find articles written in the mainstream pertaining to baby loss. From therapists writing about the normalcy (and sometimes undermined) process of grieving to women in Hollywood opening up about their own losses and/or struggles with infertility.
Organizations and Research
PLIDA (Pregnancy Loss Infant Death Alliance), www.plida.org
debra (The Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa Research Association of America), www.debra.org
American SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) Institute, www.sids.org
SOFT (Support Organization for Trisomy 18, 13, and Related Disorders), www.trisomy.org