So, it is a Sunday evening, December 29, 2013. The holidays have come to a close. How were they? There were high moments. Low moments. Never did I imagine a year ago, all that has happened, would have happened. But it did. I miss our Emily. And always will.
I visited Emily out at the cemetery. It was peaceful. And beautiful. I never thought I would use those words about a cemetery. Where she is buried, it is beautiful. I said, “I am glad that you are buried out here. It’s pretty and quiet.” Not that I ever wanted our baby to die. But it is nice to know that her body rests someplace that is calm. We even took our Christmas card picture of the boys out there at the cemetery, amongst the gorgeous fall-colored trees that grow nearby Emily. It comforted me to have Emily in our Christmas cards this year, even if others may never know. I know.
We made an ornament for our Christmas tree with Emily’s name on it. Hung her stocking along our stairwell with the others. And placed a wreath out at the cemetery with an angel ornament on it. We have the same one on our Christmas tree, too. I loved that idea that my friend gave of adding an ornament to the wreath every year.
I can’t change what has happened, but I can change what I do with it. Do I wish Emily was with us this past Christmas? You bet I do. But, I cannot change the fact that she is not. I know her spirit is though.
I am starting new traditions with our Emily. And that brings me comfort. I will think of her every Christmas, and where she is on that special day of the year. And what an amazing place that is. Merry Christmas, Emily, Merry Christmas, my sweet one.
Love, Your Mommy