You Are Not Alone

So, I remember shortly after we lost Emily in February 2013, Beyoncé announced that she had suffered a  miscarriage. I have even heard recently that she suffered again since the birth of her baby girl born in January 2012. I have to warn you, I do not follow the Hollywood scene really at all. But sometimes when you are at the check-out line at the grocery, you are overwhelmed with the covers saying that “so and so” is pregnant again, and it makes you wonder. It makes you wonder if Hollywood ever loses? Are celebrities immune to miscarriages and stillbirths? Or infant deaths? The answer is no.

I have put in my Google search “celebrities that have lost babies” a few times. You can try wording it differently, and you get slightly different results. But, you will uncover a whole list of women in the spotlight that have had babies die. And these are only women that have come forward about their losses. Which makes me think, “How many other women around me in my world have lost, that I don’t even know have?” It makes you think.

I will say looking at that list of women from many years ago, to the present day, such as Gwyneth Paltrow suffering a miscarriage after having two living children here, helps you not feel alone. When these people talk openly about their losses and own the same feelings that you are having, you feel like another wall in the silence of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss has been knocked down. When Oscar-winning Minnie Driver, who played the bereaved mother in “Return to Zero” states that her role in that movie was the hardest one yet, it brings more validation as to just how hard losing a baby is.

I only wish that these magazine covers told the stories of loss and heartache. Because this is real. This is life. And it is a big deal. I remember when Michelle Duggar of “19 Kids and Counting” announced that she suffered a late-term miscarriage. And instead of it being about loss and a baby dying, I felt like it was more debated about her age and the number of children she already had. And with that, whether she should have shared some very sensitive and touching photos of her baby that had already died. 

So, will Hollywood change with how they handle baby loss? I think that it is taking (very) small steps. I mean, I think women are feeling more open and vulnerable to share that what was once viewed as very private with others in hopes that they do not feel alone. Celebrities are opening up about their losses, movies are being made about stillbirths, but again we still have a long way to go. I can only hope that in the years to come, women will feel less alone in their own world if they have suffered the loss of a baby and with that, at the grocery check-out line as they glance at the many glossy-paged Hollywood celebrities. But I must tell you before that day comes, if you do feel alone, you are not alone. You are not alone if you have experienced this. And you are not alone with the feelings that go with losing a baby. And yes, it does happen in star-studded, fairy-tale land of Hollywood.